I Was Not Expecting My Little Sugar's Time Was Up

So this weekend was... I truly have not words for what just happened in the late/morning hours from the transition of Friday to Saturday. My little Sugar(a husky) died from cancer. I been feeling absolutely nothing for what happened to her. It all happened too quick. Even now its still a shock to me. Her death hasn't hit me yet. I believe that as time moves forward my feeling for her will blow out of proportion with out warning. The reason why I didn't prevent myself from even mentioning her death was because there was nothing else on my mind but her. This is more for me than to inform anyone that read this blog but, I was giving Sugar as a present from my father because of my good grades. She was given to me as a little puppy and she's been with me for eleven years. For me to not be emotional right now makes me feel guilty for not acknowledging her missing existing. I will say that her death did left me empty. I do not feel depressed or extremely sad. I'm functioning as if she was still here. I even still get worried for her well being every three to five times a day but then I remember that I just buried her two days ago and then... I just stay blank. A little back ground about her situation was that she was recently recuperating from her extraction of cancer/tumor. She had that tumor for three month before we noticed that a strange bulge inside one of her nipple was growing in size. In my mind I do blame my self for being the only one that worries about her and did not noticed what was going on with her. Even my mother, father, and sister reminded me of my role as her owner and having to love her and take care of her as I told them on Friday night that Sugar did not look at all. At the moment I was hopping for them to be supporting but I understood their situation about being tired from a good working day. My brother was the only one on my side while this was happening. After they noticed that the situation was getting worst my sister gave my brother, Sugar, and me a ride to the pet Clinique. There Sugar was diagnosed with fluid between her heart and the little thin bag that contains the heart. they told me that she had no was to live for more than a week, a day, or a minute if they where to take the fluid out because it would've just keep on filling up. I figured at the moment that if I kept her a life for a little longer she was not going to be able to run, eat, or eat as she use to because of that heart condition. She even screamed when we where in the processes of getting her to the Clinique. At the Clinique, I still can't believe what words came out of my mouth but, I took the most stupid of selections and agreed to let her go. She was injected with a substance that made her unconscious little by little in seconds. As soon as dropped one of many tears and told her "Thank you" the doctor told me that she was gone. I decided to take her body with me to my home yard. My whole family weep in tears while I just didn't felt absolutely nothing. Even as I started to burry her with some beautiful roses right next to her I just felt nothing. Even as I'm writing this I was hopping to finally let it all out and remember my Sugar for all the times we played together and kept me company but I'm still composed and empty. Because of the effect that she had on me I been able to work on automatic. I've laughed and been feeling happy with my family as if nothing happened. Once every nine to twelve hors I do feel the urge to cry out but it quickly disappears. I've done my homework with any trouble and been working on the classes that I will take next semester. I do think that if I had to do multiple essays and some other school work I would been able to complete it with out obstacle. Form all this I would understand if anyone would think of me as an insensible and ungrateful owner. I do think I am. I'm just hopping to feel or her really soon because she spent her whole life being one of my besets companions and friend. She was my everything and the only reason why it was worth it to be outside of my house three or even just once a day. I do miss her with all my heart. this blog was more of a therapy for my than anything else so I can tell the story of what happened to my little angel. Thank you if you decided to read this blog. Being the last blog I will write for the class I would've want it to have a happy ending, and in a way there is a happy ending somewhere; she being in a better place. If I had anything else good come out of this blog it would be the message to take every single second of your little companion's life and make it worth while. Even if is just sleeping or sting down with them, that will make the difference. Love them with all your heart and like Sugar, they will return that love tenth full.